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Humor Quotes

58 quotes on humor and wit — from the classics to the everyday.

“I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant, and all-round obnoxious arsehole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet. I am dismissive of the virtuous, unaware of the beautiful, and uncomprehending in the face of the happy. So if I didn't understand I was being asked to be best man, it is because I never expected to be anybody's best friend.”

Sherlock Holmes · BBC Sherlock, Series 3, Episode 2: The Sign of Three, 2014

Humor Philosophy

“Did you miss me?”

Jim Moriarty · BBC Sherlock, Series 3 finale post-credits sequence, 2014

“It's Wednesday. I'm not dressed up for Halloween. This is how I always look.”

Wednesday Addams · The Addams Family (various adaptations)

“I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays.”

Anonymous

“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”

Oscar Wilde · The Remarkable Rocket, 1888

“Well-behaved women seldom make history.”

Laurel Thatcher Ulrich · "Vertuous Women Found," American Quarterly, 1976

“Silence is not emptiness. For most people, it would be the wisest thing they've said all week.”

Original