“I don't like mornings. They start too early.”
Groucho Marx · widely attributed
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Humor Quotes
58 quotes on humor and wit — from the classics to the everyday.
“I have a dream that one day I will wake up and feel rested.”
Groucho Marx · widely attributed
“Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”
Benjamin Franklin · Poor Richard's Almanack, 1735
“I never knew a man who was good at making excuses who was good at anything else.”
Benjamin Franklin · Poor Richard's Almanack, attributed
“Sleep is good, he said, and books are better.”
George R.R. Martin · A Clash of Kings, 1998
“Think before you speak. Read before you think.”
Fran Lebowitz · The Fran Lebowitz Reader, 1994
“People think I'm joking all the time. Sometimes I am. Sometimes I'm not.”
Oliver Tree
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
Mae West
“I've actually not read any books on time management.”
Elon Musk · Reddit AMA, 2015
“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the classroom.”
Robert Frost
“A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.”
Robert Frost
“The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.”
Voltaire · Sept Discours en Vers sur l'Homme, 1738
“The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.”
Voltaire
“Common sense is not so common.”
Voltaire · Philosophical Dictionary, 1764
“God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.”
Voltaire
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
Albert Einstein
“I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning the day difficult.”
E.B. White
